As someone who is officially turning 30 this year, I have long ago come to terms with the fact that I am an Old. Should you need proof, I had to ask the youth in our Gizmodo Slack what BDE, or “Big Dick Energy,” was this week as I wasn’t sure if it was literal, figurative, and available for use by all.

That being said, you can imagine my face of utter confusion when I came across the Drug Enforcement Administration’s “emoji drug code” on Twitter earlier this week. According to the DEA, teens are using emojis of crystal balls (🔮) to buy meth and blowfish (🐡) to buy cocaine. And if you think they’re using the maple leaf (🍁) to talk about the lovely neighboring Canada, oh ho ho, you are mighty wrong. The agency says this is the universal symbol for drugs.

The DEA’s guide is aimed at parents, caregivers, and other people in teens’ lives, although the agency notes that the list is not all-inclusive. Rather, the list is a representative sample of emojis found in DEA investigations.

Hey, I am all for stopping teens from doing illegal drugs. That stuff can kill you. However, I can’t help but wonder how many parents will be like me and think, “A purple heart is code for cough syrup? I thought that was a reference to BTS.” I mean, they might be too confused to react. Take a look at the emojis used for prescription drugs, dealers, and other drugs like MDMA and marijuana and see for yourself.

(Disclaimer: I am not a parent, so who knows. Maybe parents are more discerning.)

Apparently, drug dealers have also gotten into the emoji game. While the first three emojis used by dealers make sense, I continue to be flabbergasted by the crown. Is the dealer a king? Why?

I was also confused by the plug and originally thought it was a reference to a phone charger, which made no sense. Then something clicked inside my brain and I got it: hook up.

A blue circle? Is it because the pills are blue? What’s a banana got to do with illegal drugs? Also, I would not have associated the blue “P” with Percocet. Instead, I would have thought the dealer wanted me to pay for parking or something.

Again, pill emoji. OK, there are lots of pills in the world, so that doesn’t really tell me much. When it comes to chocolate and the bus, I still don’t get it. As someone who has taken Xanax in the past (legally prescribed by a doctor for anxiety), I didn’t feel like I was eating chocolate or on a bus.

Oh, a trip? That makes sense.

I think this is one of the only drug codes I understood right off the bat. However, when it comes to “A-Train,” my mind automatically goes to the character from The Boys , not Adderall.

Maybe it’s because I’m a reporter or because I spend too much time on Twitter, but I would associate the rocket emoji with dogecoin, Elon Musk, or Wall Street Bets. As for the bomb, well, there are unfortunately lots of countries setting off bombs nowadays.

Before, the maple leaf only signaled good things, like syrup or Canada. Now I will always wonder if the person using it is referring to drugs. 💔

This one makes a bit of sense, if only because the teens of my youth and the young adults at university were obsessed with weed brownies. In this case, though, the cookie doesn’t refer to marijuana, according to the DEA, but instead means “large batch.”

I swear I had absolutely no idea what sort of hidden language I was stumbling upon here. Does meth let you see the future?? Blue vibes? Put a ring on it? The test tube is the only thing that makes sense.

I feel like the only reason I got the snowman reference was because of the snowflake that came before it, otherwise I probably would have asked myself, “Is Frosty a dealer now??” Also, how the heck does a blowfish reference cocaine? Blowfish... blow... oh.

My mind is utterly blank. If someone sent me this, I would assume they were trying to be nice or excited about House of the Dragon .

Again, the heart. Why are you people using hearts to reference drugs? That’s rude! OK, I get the candy reference. As far as the lightning bolt, are we trying to tell people they’re wizards?

I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve been spending way too much time at home because it’s too damn hot to go outside. Maybe that’s why when I see these emojis, I just think of how nice it would be to go and mingle with nature.

Additionally, I have lived through the year of our Lord 2020 so the only thing I can think of when I see the dashing away emoji (💨) are potential coronavirus particles leaving someone’s nose and mouth. Eek.

I would never have guessed this in a million years. Like I mentioned above, as an ARMY, a purple heart is what I use to spread the BTS love. Grapes are stuff we put in delicious wine.

On another note, y’all are using a baby bottle to refer to drugs?

Alas, finally. We’ve come to the end of the emoji drug code. I’m ending with an emoji that’s very obvious because even I deserve to get one right at first glance. Don’t be fooled, though. Folks could also be sending this emoji to indicate that they’re going to pick mushrooms in the countryside. In Europe, it’s a thing.